Monster Jam STINKS!

So I recently was privileged enough to attend Monster Jam here in Tulsa, and I use the word "privileged" lightly. Of course it's great seeing and hearing 1200+ HP machines destroy old Buicks but, and stop me if this has already been said, IT'S RIGGED! Grave Digger is the crowd favorite, I guess because he's been around the longest, even though there's a new driver behind the wheel on a monthly basis. I may be exaggerating a bit when I say monthly, but no one knows who the hell the driver is and even less people give a shit about him. Well before I had seen all I could stand (the tickets were free so we took off way early), Grave Digger had "won" back to back races when clearly finishing behind his opponent. Of course the announcer said the decision was going "up to the booth" because it was SUCH a close finish (which was bullshit), and to a roaring applause he was announced the winner of the night. What that gets him is beyond me. Look at me, humanizing a truck the way they've built it up to be by calling it him lol. I'm a boob.

And when the fuck did they decide monster trucks didn't need 47,000 tons of dirt on the ground to drive around on? What the fuck is this concrete driving bullshit? BOOOO! This of course makes the Moto-X jumps that much more awesome because you know if one of them eats it, you just saw them die. Not that I'd want to see them die, I'm just saying it makes it that much more... Whatever the word I'm trying to use, you get my point. So here we have 4 old cars (which seems awful Jew of them, I remember the days of like 10 freakin cars getting smashed) on a concrete floor the size of a hockey rink. The first 10 or so rows in the arena are blocked off for safety (damn!) and in between the thrilling 20 foot drag races, some asshole is walking around on the floor throwing a "Digger Disk" which is ONLY found at Monster Jam events for the low, low price of $10. It's like a poor man's boomerang and by poor I mean retarded. Then, what a tease that fella was, the PA announcer says he will be throwing Digger Disks to some lucky fans in the audience. Naturally, you'd expect a few waterheads to stand up and try to catch it but this is Oklahoma baby. There were hundreds of these idiots standing and flailing their arms around like Steve Irwin with a barb in his heart.

So anyway, I was down at the loading entrance for the radio station and took some pictures on my cell phone like a complete fan-idiot hick but I'm going to spare you all having to see them. I also saw the "Tulsa Street Scene Hotties" up close and personal before they put their lil hoochie skirts on and I have to say that they looked better in track suits. Who were these lookers? They looked like they had just left a Wendy's taste test. Needless to say, the Tulsa Street Mediocrities are sweet kids and could suck mayo through a coffee stirrer, and probably have.

What else can I gripe about? It's cold as fuck and there is ice on everything. Go away ice, you make me look stupid when trying to get in and out of the car.

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